{"id":84,"date":"2020-08-06T02:45:07","date_gmt":"2020-08-06T02:45:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/?p=84"},"modified":"2020-08-06T02:45:08","modified_gmt":"2020-08-06T02:45:08","slug":"the-rosicrucian-cosmo-conception","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/2020\/08\/06\/the-rosicrucian-cosmo-conception\/","title":{"rendered":"The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Let me tell you a secret: All love is tragedy when it’s part of the narrative.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to write you a love letter.  Something to let you know that I was thinking about you, that I wish after you, that I long for you.  But then, I asked myself:  What is a love letter, really?  Why do people write them?  I know, I know, they say its to express the emotion of love.  And I find myself acting just like these people.  Writing letters to express emotions.  I suppose I can\u2019t help it.  That\u2019s what I do.  That\u2019s what I bring.  One day I\u2019ll quit writing altogether.  Of course, on that day, I\u2019ll also quit breathing.  I\u2019m pretty sure that the two go hand in hand by this point.  But enough about me, this is supposed to be a gotdamn love letter!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Shakespeare said it all. And he said it better than any writer past, present or future.  There.  I said it.  Shakespeare was the bomb when it came to love.  He thoroughly explored the literary depths of that emotion and I believe that he\u2019s actually covered every aspect of it.  What a fucking asshole.  He could\u2019ve left a few enigmas for the rest of us to figure out.  But alas, the only enigmas Shakespeare left were in trying to figure out exactly what the hell he\u2019s talking about.  Crappy Elizabethan language.  Beautiful, true, but very convoluted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Why do I love you?  I think you wonder that quite a bit.  I think you wonder why I love you like I do and I haven\u2019t forgotten you, written you off or cursed you to hell.  Because I think that most of your past \u201cloves\u201d have done one, if not all, of those things.  And at some point you began to believe all those awful things others told you.  You bought into all that filthy shit.  You actually made a suit out of them, if you will, and that became \u201cyou.\u201d  Enter negative self-fulfilling prophecy to tailor your suit and make it fit just right.  And once you got that suit to fit exactly how you wanted, you REFUSED to take it off for anyone.  Perhaps you even became a little bit proud of it\u2026secretly.  You told Yourself, \u201cThis is who I AM.  This is Crystal.\u201d  And Yourself agreed with You because this suit also acted as armor.  It protected your fragile and beaten soul, your shattered heart, your displaced beautiful spirit and hid them away inside.  Then I come along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I come along being who I AM.  Being what I AM.  And I did something that no one else did:  I looked behind<\/em> that suit of piss and vinegar and saw what was inside.  That\u2019s what I fell in love with.  YOU behind the shit.  I didn\u2019t buy into it.  I never did.  I always saw it for what it was: a wall.  A protection.  A \u201cfuck them before they fuck me\u201d mentality.  And that\u2019s not who you really are\u2026not at your core.  Not as far as your soul is concerned.  It\u2019s just your asinine mind that gets in the way with its suit making and wall building that tells you things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh sure, you\u2019re chaotic and even dangerously spontaneous at times.  But I love that about you as well.  In fact, it is one of the things draws me to you and drew me to you in the first place.  I love your Chaos.  I daresay that I even NEED your Chaos.  As much as I preach about balance and even strive to find it, I\u2019m drawn to the spontaneous spirit of life.  That energy that is the essence of laughter and light.  You have that spirit inside you.  Oh sure, you\u2019ve tried to hide it or even take it away, but you can\u2019t.  You get pissed and rage, you hate stupid people, done so many bad things and whatever other negative thoughts are playing through you head (maybe even right now because maybe you still can\u2019t believe all this, even though you want to, even though you\u2019re DYING to.) and acting as reinforcement for your suit.  But you can say and even think all that you want, the truth still remains.  And all the negative self-fulfilling prophecies in the world can\u2019t change that.  One day you\u2019ll realize it.  It\u2019ll be like a god damn atom bomb going off in your head.  Lights and everything.  And I pray that I\u2019m the one that\u2019ll be there with you when it does finally happen.  That way I can give you a big fat \u201cI told you so!\u201d  and stick my tongue out and everything.  Maybe I\u2019ll even smile impishly.  I\u2019ll definitely burst into spontaneous song and dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not sure if this is a great love letter or not.  But its an honest one.  Even that bit about Shakespeare.  See?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When, in disgrace with fortune and men\u2019s eyes,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I all alone beweep my outcast state,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And look upon myself and curse my fate,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Featured like him, like him with friends possess\u2019d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desiring this man\u2019s art and that man\u2019s scope,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With what I most enjoy contented least;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like to the lark at break of day arising<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven\u2019s gate;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For thy sweet love remember\u2019d such wealth brings<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sonnet 29<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I couldn\u2019t have said it better myself.  So I didn\u2019t.  Fucking Shakespeare.  What a fucking asshole!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wanted to write you a love letter.  Something to let you know that I was thinking about you, that I wish after you, that I long for you.  But then, I asked myself:  What is a love letter, really?  Why do people write them?  I know, I know, they say its to express the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-84","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Seeker","author_link":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/author\/jasondegray\/"},"featured_img":null,"coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["Uncategorized<\/a>"],"unlinked":["Uncategorized<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"1","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 6 years ago","modified":"Updated 6 years ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on ","modified":"Updated on "},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on ","modified":"Updated on "},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":86,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions\/86"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gnosticbeauty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}